Hermit
Our Disability Our Cross
Christ Jesus calls the disabled to a very important vocation. The Heavenly Father called His own Son to be obedient even to death on a Cross. Our obedience to God our Father is to become obedient to our disability. To embrace our disability unto death and this is our death on our Cross. We can only accomplish this with the gift of grace.
Grace is our energy our power received as gift from the Blessed Trinity. We become co-heirs with Christ Jesus in the healing of humanity by our very existence in the human family. Our yes welcomes us into this spiritual family. Our disability is our Cross. Is death itself our Crucifixion, the very separation of our soul with our broken body. Is the suffering that we endure in our broken body what brings healing to our broken world. I believe it is.
Have a blessed weekend!
Your brother in Christ Jesus,
Mark
Hermits of the Holy Cross
Journey Toward the Incarnate Christ
I keep looking for ways to try to heal and move forward living with my disability, Proteus Syndrome. But, It’s been difficult for me to accept this disability and embrace it, even after 57 years of living. This is my Cross. I have always tried my hardest to overcome obstacles that seem to stand in my way, and to keep pushing forward, but Proteus Syndrome has a life of its own and It’s taking over. I don’t like that. It’s like I’m at war with it, but since it’s part of who I am, am I at war with myself? I hope this doesn’t sound too nutty. My mind and heart want to walk again but my body says. “No sir, you’re not going to do that”. It’s challenging. I am always thinking of new ways to overcome these obstacles I face, but now the Proteus has got me homebound. This is really difficult to accept, because I loved being with people and being a brother to everyone. I was a Capuchin-Franciscan for 12 years. I took my Solemn Vows in 1996. I felt so guilty that this disability was beginning to be so expensive, since I had no health insurance due to Proteus Syndrome being a “pre-existing condition”. No health insurance company would take me under their wing. This was my reality in 2000. The burden it placed on my Order became another source of guilt to me back then. In my heart, however, I am still a Capuchin-Franciscan. I pray every day that Christ Jesus will have mercy on the many bad decisions I made back then. I still have a deep desire to help save souls for Christ, so I began the Hermits of the Holy Cross from home. It’s a ministry in the Church for the physically disabled who still want to serve in some way but are physically unable to do so. In this ministry, the Hermits of the Holy Cross, we serve spiritually, offering up to God our sufferings that stem from our disabilities. We offer intercessory prayer for our world, our parishes, our families and friends. There are now five Hermits of the Holy Cross. Theresa, Stephanie, Marie, Audrey and myself. We are all living in different parts of the world, in Canada, New York, Texas and California. Our spirits are working together for Christ Jesus, in real time, helping Him heal our broken world. We try to be an inspiration to others. Suffering has meaning. No one suffers in vain. God created us the way we are for His purpose. We are His children. Despite our physical limitations, our suffering offered up or our prayers that ascend to Heaven for others and for ourselves, assist our Christ. So, in closing, I just wanted to reach out to you, my disabled sisters and brothers around the world, to hopefully lift your hearts up with encouragement and hope during this Advent and Christmas Season. We want you to know we are with you in spirit, in the struggles that life brings. Keep climbing the mountain, keep holding on to that cross you carry. Soon it will be traded for a crown. Have a most blessed Christmas from all of us in the Hermits of the Holy Cross.
Your brother in Christ Jesus,
Mark
Hermits of the Holy Cross
Suffering, An Ingredient in God’s Grace
“It is now the hour for you to wake from sleep, for our salvation is closer than when we first accepted the faith. The night is far spent, the day draws near, so let us cast of deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.” Romans 13: 11-12
As the Church, a Community of Believers, we have now entered into the Advent Season in our Calendar. The Second Person of the Holy Trinity made a sacrifice by coming to us as a member of the human family
“that we may share in the divinity of Christ, who humbled himself to share in our humanity”
God emptied Himself for all of us that we could share His holiness. God did not have to humble Himself in this way. He could have stayed in His Heaven ordering us all to do this or do that, condemning us for the smallest infraction. Christ, in the depth of His love choose sacrifice, compassion and eternal love for us His children. For those who have raised children, I’m sure you in your compassion and love, you can remember the many times you sacrificed for them. Most parents have desired more for their children than for themselves.
As Hermits of the Holy Cross, our sacrifice to God is our own sufferings that we endure each day because of our physical disabilities. These sufferings can be emotional, psychological, and physical. Society teaches us that our sufferings have no meaning at all and that we should do everything we can to eradicate it. Sufferings are just a nuisance. But we all know through experience we cannot completely eradicate our suffering in our daily lives. Therefore, they cannot be completely removed. But, that’s not to say, that we shouldn’t try to alleviate them. We do try because we want to experience peace in heart and mind. Christ taught us through His own sufferings that they have meaning.
Personally, here’s what I believe, I believe our sufferings, when offered to God through our free will, assist God in the creation of grace. Sounds odd I know. Christ Jesus tells us that we make up what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ. “Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the Church.” Col 1:24
Through the suffering, and death of Christ upon the Cross he taught us suffering has purpose. God does not waste it, but uses it. Think of grace as spiritual fuel for our daily lives. Plants and trees need rain, our bodies need food, cars need gasoline, many products need electricity. Our spirit too, needs grace to grow closer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. This Advent and Christmas Season ask God
“to fill you with the knowledge of His will with all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives.” Col: 1:9 Have you ever seen the painting of Christ Jesus knocking upon the door to be welcomed in but there is no door knob on His side of the door. This reminds us that Christ doesn’t barge in but patiently waits for us to open the door to allow Him in. The spiritual life is a give and take between two lovers. Try giving God your sufferings this, the Season of Incarnation, and ask Him to help you to understand why suffering is in our lives. Grace will be there for you. Through our suffering offered to God we participate in the creation of Gods gift, transforming grace.
Have a wonderful Advent and Christmas Season.
You are in our prayers each day. If you would like us to pray for any special intention please email bro.Mark at dextraze13@yahoo.com Its free.
Your brother in Christ Jesus,
Mark
Hermits of the Holy Cross
THE TRIP
Up until the time I was 30 years old, I loved to travel. Jumping on a jet with a suitcase was as natural as a ride in my car. Packing was a cinch. And I could fall asleep easily on any mattress anywhere. Even the excitement anticipating the day I would depart was a thrill. Knowing I would be horse-back riding, renting motorcycles, and going to Clubs to dance the nights away, was all part of that excitement.
By the time I was 35, I was disabled by an acutely misdiagnosed Back vertebrae fracture that was made worse with every attempt a doctor or physical therapist would make to help heal it. I wound up bedridden for 5 years in chronic and crippling pain and spasms. And what followed upon that resembled in no way all that had come before. Every part of my life and identity as an independent, strong, free-spirited female was gone. Gone were my days of teaching and practicing Yoga, too. All fashion, style and whatever else had contributed to my self-image, obliterated. Friends whom I thought were friends, no where to be found. Just the Pain…and all the Time in the world to suffer it.
Fast-forwarding to today, over 35 years later, and for the First Time since those golden days of youth, I am planning A Trip. Yes, I have to call and make special arrangements for a mattress to somewhat accommodate my Back pain. I will need to carefully select what foods I can eat. And, I will probably need a small suitcase just for my meds. But, apart from these obvious differences, there is this One which is worth far more than all I have known of travel before. I will experience things as I have Never done before!! Since that altered course so many years ago, God has given me a new way of “See-ing” His Universe. A way that takes it All in; every speck of beauty, whether there is rain in the sky or a brilliant sun blessing the Earth with its warming rays. And with this kind of See-ing, there is also a deeply profound Gratitude for everything I See and will See . And for every person that I will meet. If I’m thinking of anything in anticipation of this Trip, it will be thoughts like these that will fill my heart. And, Praise…always Praise for God who offered me His World in place of the one I had lost, and helped me to become a better, more human person than I even knew I could be.
So, this Trip…with all these new moments, people and experiences it will bring…this Trip will be a thing of Wonder! A thing I believe has been ordained by God for my life exactly now. I could never have even consented to consider it if God had not fortified my Soul with Grace. That’s how much fear I had been holding on to. But here we are…and here we go!! Praise God!!!
A Rule of Peace
I read an article this morning from and on-line website called, Truth and Charity Forum. As a Benedictine Oblate, I was moved by the Author’s insights into The Rule of St. Benedict regarding Peace. Everything about the Rule speaks to Peace and a harmonious way of life for everyone who resides in the Monastery. But for those of us following the Rule while still living in the world, sometimes the stability and regular rhythms of the Monastery can be lacking in our less than consistent daily routines. So, I thought to re-copy the article’s most relevant points for finding Peace in our lives and post it here for all of us to consider, if we are so inclined. I hope it speaks kindly and gently to our hearts…
2014 Rule of Peace By Mitchell Kalpakgian, Ph.D.
Christopher Derrick’s The Rule of Peace draws from the wisdom of St. Benedict’s famous Rule for monastic life to teach the art of how to be at peace in the world as well as in the monastery. According to St. Benedict, four steps are needed to master the art of peace. First, a person must learn to be peace with his environment and learn to be at home in that part of the country or world where he lives and works; second, a person needs to be at peace with himself with his particular strengths and weaknesses; third, everyone must strive to be at peace with his neighbor. One cannot love God without first loving one’s neighbor. All of these forms of peace, then, prepare a person to be at peace with God. To be at peace with God, however, is not the world’s idea of living without difficulty or stress.
To be peace with one’s environment means, according to Derrick, “living gently and at peace with one’s natural surroundings” in the way a monk resigns himself to a life of stability instead of constant travel. Also, the monk who lives in tune with nature lives simply and economically. This Benedictine way of life opposes
the restlessness of wanderlust and the quest for ceaseless diversion. St. Benedict’s Rule teaches the art of staying at home and finding contentment in the regularity and rhythm of daily life with its balance of work and rest, the active life and the contemplative life. To enjoy being at home and enjoying one’s surroundings instead of always seeking new places and thrills develops a sense of belonging or rootedness essential for happiness. For many, however, the environment in which they are born, live, and work is not entirely in their control. But to be at peace, a person cannot be daydreaming or fantasizing about new sensations or faraway places that he imagines to be more perfect.
To be at peace with one’s self means to accept one’s male or female nature, one’s unique temperament and individuality, and one’s particular gifts and inclinations as God-given. It means acquiescence to one’s ethnic identity, family background, and history. A person at peace with himself is not jealous of another person’s good fortune or special talents. Every person must accept his lot and the crosses of his life rather than making invidious comparisons with others who appear more prosperous or gifted. A true monk, in Derrick’s words, is filled with an “inner serenity and joy” because he accepts sufferings and difficulties as a fact of human life and learns to overcome anxiety and fear by an abandonment to God’s Providence. The monk knows that Christ’s words “Peace be with you” mean that man needs to live without anxiety, trust in God, and not be ruled by tension and stress—one of the reasons God created the Sabbath as a day of rest. This peace with one’s self never requires drugs, alcohol, or escape from life’s duties.
To be at peace with one’s neighbor also requires the same effort and skill as learning to accept one’s environment and one’s human nature because a person does not always choose his relatives, neighbors, or colleagues, but simply finds them present by accident. This aspect of peace demands patience, forbearance, forgiveness, and charity. Monks do not shout, slam doors, welcome loud noise, or speak with loose tongues, always practicing the virtue of courtesy because “ceremony is the friend of peace.” Monks know that the Devil wants persons to have arguments, lose their tempers, and not live in friendship and charity. Monastic life “includes all the family virtues of love and loyalty known to the ancient Romans as piety.” Just as the abbot rules in the monastery with both authority and gentleness—not as a autocrat—parents too must govern their families with both justice and mercy and children honor their parents with respect. With gentle authority and glad obedience men can live together in peace and avoid the many useless, trivial arguments produced by prideful egotism. Monastic life teaches the discipline of the tongue and recognizes that “too much talk is the enemy of the soul.” So often peace with one’s neighbor is destroyed “when somebody said something which never really needed to be said”— insensitive, offensive, or tactless words.
All the various kinds of restlessness—the pursuit of excitement, novelty, or diversion in the form of entertainment, travel, and endless change– result from failure to live in tune with the environment, family, and person that God created. To be at peace according to the Rule of Saint Benedict is to be centered and have a still point rather than being fragmented and divided by the centrifugal forces of the world that rend asunder the unity that dwells in the soul that knows peace. The Benedictine vow of stability centers a monk in the one place he will live and reside for a lifetime. The home centers a person in the society of the family he is bound to for life. The vocation a person chooses gives special priority to this one form of service that shapes the future.
A Vocation to Embrace Suffering
A Vocation to Embrace Suffering – How can such a Calling possibly be Realized, Fully Accepted, and Lived Out by Anyone who is of Sound Mind and is in a state of basic Psychological wholeness and Emotional wellness? This is the astounding if not even somewhat mystical revelation of the Mystery of the Cross for the Hermits of the Holy Cross that I hope to be able to address in this Post.
Are we delusional? Are we simply making the best of our crummy lot in life, hoping to find an excuse, however poor, for meaning, relevance or purpose in this world? Is it some irrational imagining to escape the reality of our chronic pain and sickness?
Some might wonder. We, ourselves, at times, might even wonder. But, to linger in such thoughts would be, for us who experience this Genuine Calling, a definite Temptation against our Vocation. How do we know? We Know because the Grace to Understand what it is we “Know” in our deepest center to be True is part of our Vocation.
We do not need to imagine. We do not need to escape. Nor do we need to romanticize what is the True Nature of our Calling in order to make it more palatable. On the contrary. What every Hermit of The Holy Cross Knows to be True is already contained in this mysterious Grace that is given to us, in order that we may embrace the Responsibility of the Call; to hold our place quietly, humbly, and in a hidden manner, according to God’s Plan and Purpose. We can thus share the burdens of humankind in silence, in union with our Lord, Jesus Christ, as we offer our sufferings for the Salvation of All the suffering souls in this World, both living and deceased, in Faith that God will bless and accept these offerings through Christ, our Lord, AMEN.
Blessings and Peace,
+ Theresa (HHC)
Calendar Religion or Religion of the Spirit?
April will be a month of Catholic Holy Days starting with Palm Sunday. Catholics and Christians everywhere will be planning which Holy Day Services they will be attending, and who will be coming over for Easter Dinner. In my meditation this morning, I pondered about our kind of Calendar Religion. It’s good in some ways, of course, but it does tend to keep people thinking in terms of Religious vs Secular-type divisions in our minds. Like, Sunday is special because it’s Church, but Monday is just my ordinary life again.
If I think about what Jesus showed us regarding such practices, I see something different. I see Him rebuking those who tried to censure His freedom of the Spirit at every moment, by quoting “the Rules of Religion” at Him. But it was in fact His ordinary life that was the place of many of His greatest miracles and parables. He lived His Spirituality every moment of every day, not just on the Sabbath day. Why? Because He was always Awake and Aware of His connection to The Divine! Attentive and Centered within Himself, He clearly understood that His Union with the Father was a very Present Reality; one that was ever-active, regardless of what the Calendar said.
He had respect for the proper Services of His Faith, but He was not limited by them. He participated in Synagogue Services, but He would also wake up early in the morning to go apart by Himself to pray. He wanted no divides between people. He wanted them to understand Truth from their hearts. But for that to happen, they would have to wake-up to their actual lives and step out of their automatic conditioned behaviors. Jesus knew that would not be an easy thing for them. Thanks be to God, He had a plan!
Jesus did not leave us the New Testament. That came years later, after having been handed down and finally written down, and then after having been filtered through a Greek translation. He did not leave us a Religion of the Calendar. Or a structured Church system. Jesus did leave us something of much greater value to our eternal destiny. His Holy Spirit! When His message was preached everywhere to whomever would listen from their hearts, those people would receive the Holy Spirit. That Free Gift of the Holy Spirit changed their reality! They did wake-up! And their ordinary, everyday lives were transformed from within!
TODAY – I Am Awake to the Presence of God in my Ordinary Life. I am grateful! I am loved! I am blessed!
The Sign of Jonas58 by Thomas Merton
read by Bro. Mark
A SIMPLE LENTEN PRACTICE
In The Rule of St. Benedict it is written of the Monks that all of their life is meant to be lived as one continual Lent. But, that during the actual Season of Lent, an additional Practice is to be taken on. St. Benedict recommends nothing too difficult. Maybe an extra Book that the monk should read, cover to cover, omitting nothing and not skipping over any chapters because of one’s personal inclinations. In other words, if you’re bored with it, too bad! I say that with a smile, having recognized myself more than once in that passage. Why would that seem so important to St. Benedict, anyway? Maybe he had his reasons for the monks of that 6th Century. But, does that still have relevance for us, today?
I say an emphatic, YES it does! Reading a Book according to this instruction makes of the Book an acceptable Lenten offering to God. And, its prayerful reading, an acceptable Spiritual Practice. To read in this particular way requires a spirit of attention. A focused and vigilant effort to remain with the words of one page at a time. Patience. An open heart to receive what the message behind the words has to offer. A slow and measured reading also takes longer. It requires a certain commitment of one’s time. Likewise, it insures one’s self-will is not to be fed by denying the monk the opportunity to read only the chapters he personally prefers.
When I first read the Rule of St. Benedict many years ago, this part of Rule would have gone right over my head. I would simply have skipped it and wouldn’t even have looked back. My head would have recorded it as “Read an Extra Book for Lent”. And I would have done so, without any understanding of how it could matter on any other than the superficial level I had relegated it to. But, Today?!
Thanks be to God, Today…. I Prayerfully select a Book. Place it on my Altar. Make my Spiritual intention. Then, offer it to God with maybe a lighted candle or some incense to represent my intention. And when Lent begins, I read the words of every page, mindfully…prayerfully. I stop every so often to rest in silence. And then I go on. After 40 days, if I have remained faithful to the instruction of St. Benedict, I may actually have been blessed to have received a glimpse into Benedictine Humility. God be Praised! AMEN
Hermits of the Holy Cross 