Holding On To Christ

I keep looking for ways to try to heal and move forward living with my disability, Proteus Syndrome. It still remains difficult for me to accept this disability and embrace it. This is my Cross€. I have always tried my hardest to overcome obstacles that stand in my way, to keep pushing forward, but the Proteus Syndrome has a life of its own and It’€™s taking over. I don’€™t like that, you know. It’€™s like I’m at war with it and I don’€™t want it to win. I hope this doesn’€™t sound too nutty. My mind and heart want to walk again but my body says. “No sir, your not going to do that”€. It’s quite the challenge. I am always thinking of new ways to overcome these obstacles I face, but now the Proteus has got me homebound. This is really difficult to accept because I loved being with people and being a brother to everyone. I was a Capuchin-Franciscan for 12 years. I took my Solemn Vows in 1996. I had to leave though. I blame my disability. The burden it placed on my Order. The friars didn’t have health insurance back then and my disability is quite expensive. I am still a Capuchin in my heart though and I pray every day to Christ Jesus that He will not reject me because of that decision I made those many years ago. My heart will always remain with my Capuchin brothers. I still have a deep desire to help save souls for Christ, so I began the Hermits of the Holy Cross from home. It’s a ministry in the Church for the physically disabled who still want to serve the Church in some way. We serve spiritually, offering up to God our sufferings that stem from our disabilities. Our second gift we offer is intercessory prayer for our world, our parishes, our families and friends. We pray for those who even hurt us and reject us. So far, for me, I’ve only been laughed at and ridiculed. No one has ever tried to physically hurt me, thanks be to God. There are now five Hermits of the Holy Cross. One of our members recently passed away. May your soul rest in peace dear brother Charles. We live in different parts of the world, in Canada, New York, Texas and California. Our spirits are working together to help heal the world. We, with physical disabilities, have a gift to give the world. You too have a gift to give. Your heart for prayer and your sufferings offered for souls. Please, never forget this. God created us the way we are for His purposes. We are His children. We have gifts to share. These gifts might be spiritual like our suffering offered up or our prayers for others and for ourselves. So, in closing, I just wanted to reach out to you, my sisters and brothers, to help lift your hearts with encouragement. I want you to know I am with you in the struggle and that there are other Hermits praying for you. Keep climbing the mountain, keep holding on, in hope and love, to that cross you carry. Soon it will be traded for a crown. Have a most blessed week

Your brother in Christ Jesus,


Hermits of the Holy Cross

5 thoughts on “Holding On To Christ

  1. So beautifully said Brother Mark! Thank you for being a wonderful example of being a steadfast spirit in all of your suffering!
    You help us so much with your prayers and hope filled spirit!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Dear Bro. Mark – God has given us a great Gift through you! If you hadn’t started the Hermits of the Holy Cross, we would have remained without the deep and vital Spiritual support you offer. I remember how driven I was to connect with you when I first came across your Blog some years ago. I kept writing to you until I heard back. Why? Because the Spirit of the Lord told me that it was a connection that God would bless and enrich both our lives through. And God has certainly done so! And more, in that I also met the other hermits through you. And through me, God sent you New hermits, too. Mark, we all love you and support you every moment of every day, and through and with God’s grace, we always will! …Amen!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Mark, You’re words are so eloquent and the deep love you have for our Lord is so clear. I am praying for you. You are an incredible example of living a Christ- like life for all who can understand. I’m in gratitude to you and your brothers for the countless thoughts and prayers. I’m truly, deeply sad to realize the suffering you endure has become so unbearable for you. I admire the strength you have always had and shown. And I offer up my most heartfelt prayers for the strength you need to carry on as you would like. In Jesus’ name and love, your friend, Katie

    On Thu, Nov 1, 2018 at 3:30 PM Hermits of the Holy Cross Blog wrote:

    > hermitsoftheholycross posted: “I keep looking for ways to try to heal and > move forward living with my disability, Proteus Syndrome. It still remains > difficult for me to accept this disability and embrace it. This is my > Cross€ . I have always tried my hardest to overcome obstacles that” >

    Liked by 1 person

    • Katie, thank you so much for your kind words. You have been a friend to me since the sixth grade and God willing we’ll be friends forever. I hope my words would have loving , compassionate power to lift peoples spirit. People often forget the power in words. We see it’s effects from Trump. He is rapidly dividing our country which is frightening. Thank you for all your support. Katie.


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